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Installing 1.5 Patch Installation Successful Press Enter Optimization Launch Enemy Territory Quake Wars again Click Options Click Settings Start by click ing "Auto Detect Settings" Play the game for a while and see if the frame rate is smooth enough for your system. Quake wars patch 1.5. You gain a +2 to damage rolls with weapon attacks against creatures of that favored type. Note that this is a beta. Id Software and Activision have released a new patch for Enemy Territory: Quake Wars players.
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ET Quake Wars: le patch 1.5 - Actu https://pro-monolit.ru/crack/?key=750. In the distant past of the 1990s the first person shooter began its conquest of video gaming. Amazon.com: Enemy Territory: Quake Wars - PC: Video Games. Maps (45) Objective-based (4) All Maps (45) Media (30) Video (20) Wallpapers (7) Miscellaneous (1) All Media (30) Mods (42) Mini-Mods (5) Total Conversions. MiB) Remember, subscribers get priority access for only $2/month.
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Players can now filter servers by the maximum number of bots playing * Revised the 'Hot Server' weightings so lower ping servers are given higher priority than before * Replaced Hot Server list with a 'Join. As enforced by the latest 1.5 patch. The incremental 1.5 Linux patch for ET: QW. Changes include bug fixes, UI improvements, AI improvements and much more. This is the beta version of the new Enemy Territory: Quake Wars Full v1.5 patch. Enemy Territory: Quake Wars Updated Hands-On - New Maps, More Gameplay, More Class Details.
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Find all the latest Enemy Territory: Quake Wars PC game downloads on [HOST] PC Game Reviews, News, Mods & Videos The incremental to patch. Currently the quake wars developers are working with ATI to fix a problem that crashses the game. It has a tenuous release date of early janurary 2020 (however no announcements have been made so im going to assume its been delayed). ET: Quake Wars v1.5 Released. I think this is worthy to put in the article somewhere.
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The user who removed it appears to have a habit of deleting information, considering it to constitute a game guide but in this case it may have been a. Taking place in the year 2020, the game lets you play as the GDF. Lemon Amiga home FAQ Search Memberlist Usergroups Search Memberlist Usergroups. WRITTEN FOR THE PATCHED (1.5) VERSION OF THE GAME.
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Splash Damage and id Software have released the final version of its v1.5 patch. Changes From 1.0 To 1.5 (Full List) 1.1 User Interface 1.2 HUD 1.3 Ranked Servers 1.4 Map Loads, Auto-Downloads, ETQW: TV 1.5 Player Statistics 1.6 Miscellaneous 1.7 Bots 1.8 Tooltips 1.9 Fixed Exploits Added an Auto-Join button to the Limbo Menu Added new server browser filter. Anomaly uses a custom engine build. For Quake on the PC, GameFAQs has 43 cheat codes and secrets. Ashampoo Ashampoo WinOptimizer Platinum 3 S/N: AWPSC0-770389-2A0B2F.
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An updated list of all the set's items in the game to help you with build planning :)
--- generic SETS ---
sunandmoon_name="Sun & Moon"
sunandmoon_2pbonus="When casting a Frost skill, bonus Fire damage is multiplied by 3. When casting a Fire skill, bonus Frost damage is multiplied by 3. This effect lasts 3 seconds."
seeker_2pbonus="+50% Pickup Radius."
seeker_3pbonus="+50% Magic Find."
bond_2pbonus="+30% Companion Health and Damage."
element1_name="All For One"
element1_2pbonus="All your bonus Damage Element stats are added to the Damage Element of the skill in your first skill slot."
element2_name="One For All"
element2_2pbonus="Your highest Resistance stat, multiplied by 3, is now added to all Damage Element stats."
masters_2pbonus="All companions become Elite, granting them an additional special attack, multiplying their base health by 2, and their base damage by 5. In addition, the Companion Damage stat is 25% more effective."
scout_name="Master Scout's Gear"
scout_2pbonus="+20% Movement Speed."
scout_3pbonus="Become invisible if you don't attack or get hurt for 5 seconds."
summoner_2pbonus="+250% Companion Health & Companion Damage."
summoner_3pbonus="+50% to all Damage Elements per active Companion skill."
thiefs_2pbonus="Picking up Crystals increases Movement Speed by 2% for 5 seconds. Stacks 20 times."
harvest_2pbonus="+50% Pickup Strength and Pickup Radius."
thorns_2pbonus="Thorns increased by 25% of Damage stat."
thorns_3pbonus="Thorns increased by an additional 50% of Damage stat."
thorns2_2pbonus="Adds 30% of your maximum Health to Thorns."
thorns2_3pbonus="Adds 50% of your damage to Thorns."
thorns2_4pbonus="Periodically taunts all nearby foes."
challenger_2pbonus="Shrines will always spawn a champion monster."
challenger_3pbonus="Twice as likely to encounter Unstable Dimensions and Challenge Scrolls."
--- Templar gear ---
valkyrie_2pbonus="Sword skills attack with 100% increased attack speed, and Sharp Steel now stacks infinitely."
valkyrie_3pbonus="Phantom Shield always triggers, and Shield skills have their base damage increased by the Templar's block chance."
valkyrie_4pbonus="+30% Damage Reduction, +10% Block Chance, +10% Damage Blocked."
reckoning_2pbonus="Taking damage grants the Templar Reckoning, increasing Thorns 50% per stack, stacking 10 times and lasting 10 seconds."
reckoning_3pbonus="Reckoning also increases attack speed by 3% per stack. Thorns damage is dealt on hit."
reckoning_4pbonus="Reckoning increases Damage Reduction by 40% while active."
thunderingarmy_name="The Thundering Army"
thunderingarmy_2pbonus="Soul Replication and Soul Avatar last until death, and their base health and damage is doubled."
thunderingarmy_3pbonus="Soul Replication also summons an Avatar, and Soul Avatar also summons the Replicas. Each hit by these companions weaken the foe, increasing the damage they take by 15%, stacking infinitely."
thunderingarmy_4pbonus="40% of the damage taken by the Templar is redirected and shared evenly between any active Soul Avatar and Soul Replicas."
thundercharge_2pbonus="Using Lightning skills charges your armor, adding 1 stack of Charged Armor. Each stack of Charged Armor increases the damage of Avenger by 35%. Max 10 stacks, lasts 7 seconds."
thundercharge_3pbonus="Avenger now triggers on-hit effects and is also automatically triggered on each Lightning Satellite every 1.5 seconds, affected by attack speed. Avenger triggered from the satellites is also affected by Satellite Strength. However Lightning Satellites no longer attack normally."
thundercharge_4pbonus="Charged Armor now also adds 40% Damage Reduction while active."
caines_2pbonus="Flare has 100% chance to trigger and allows the Templar to move unhindered through foes and objects. Holy Fire (Aura) now deals the same damage as Blaze while Flare is active."
caines_3pbonus="While Blaze is active each strike of Holy Fire weakens the foe, increasing the damage it takes from Holy Fire by 100%, stacking infinitely."
caines_4pbonus="Flare adds 40% Damage Reduction while active."
wargod_name="War God Armor"
wargod_2pbonus="Burning Conviction now stacks infinitely, and slows foes by 30%."
wargod_3pbonus="Foes affected by Burning Conviction receive a burst of fire damage when hit, dealing damage equal to 30% of the total remaining damage of Burning Conviction."
wargod_4pbonus="+40% Damage Reduction."
soulpurger_2pbonus="Foes struck by Expulsion are set on fire, dealing 50% of the damage dealt per second, for 7 seconds. The burn stacks infinitely."
soulpurger_3pbonus="Expulsion now has a 100% chance to trigger, and each trigger of Expulsion adds Radiance to the Templar, increasing attack speed and movement speed by 5%, stacking up to 10 times. Effect lasts 5 seconds."
soulpurger_4pbonus="Radiance adds 40% Damage Reduction."
ayeela_name="Avatar of Ayeela"
ayeela_2pbonus="All Holy skills trigger Hallowed on hit, using the damage dealt as a base for the skill. Hallowed deals 100% increased damage."
ayeela_3pbonus="Hallowed also applies Judgment to foes struck by it, dealing the damage of Hallowed per second, for 7 seconds. Stacks infinitely."
ayeela_4pbonus="Receiving any form of healing blesses the Templar with 40% Damage Reduction for 5 seconds."
--- berserker gear ---
bloodsoak_2pbonus="Internal Hemorrhage now stacks infinitely, and Bloodbath increases all Bleed Damage by 15% per stack."
bloodsoak_3pbonus="Internal Hemorrhage is twice as effective when applied by non-Stone skills. Foes who die under the effect of Internal Hemorrhage erupt in an explosion of blood, dealing 250% of the total remaining damage of the effect to all foes within 3 meters."
bloodsoak_4pbonus="Bloodbath reduces damage taken by 40% while active."
cataclysm_2pbonus="Quake has 100% chance to trigger, and all Stone Skills deal 30% increased damage."
cataclysm_3pbonus="Stalagmites deal 200% increased damage, always triggers on Quake, and deals 15% increased damage each strike."
cataclysm_4pbonus="All Stone Skills grants the Berserker Earth Ward for 10 seconds. Earth Ward lowers damage taken by 40%."
soulsky_2pbonus="Dragon Soul applies a debuff dealing 150% of the damage dealt as damage per second for 5 seconds to all foes struck, stacking infinitely."
soulsky_3pbonus="Dragon Spirit and Dragon Soul have 100% chance to trigger and Dragon's Grace now deals damage in a 2 meter radius, and applies the damaging debuff."
soulsky_4pbonus="Dragon Spirit adds 40% Damage Reduction while active."
spiritgarb_2pbonus="Spirit Link now connects up to 6 foes to the host, and all foes affected take 20% increased damage from all sources."
spiritgarb_3pbonus="Soul Link now deals the damage in a 2 meter radius. When a Spirit Link host is struck, it suffers 100% increased damage from the attack for each missing link. In addition, a Soul Burn effect is applied to the host, dealing 100% of the damage taken, per second, for 5 seconds. The Soul Burn stacks infinitely."
spiritgarb_4pbonus="Spirit Link now also links with the Berserker, redirecting 40% of the damage received to all foes affected by Spirit Link."
volcano_2pbonus="Molten Veins has a 2 meter wider radius and is now also triggered on attacks, and Lava Blood now stacks infinitely."
volcano_3pbonus="Thorns damage is increased by 10% for each point of Rage, and Lava Blood has 100% chance to trigger."
volcano_4pbonus="Every 3 points of Rage adds 1% Damage Reduction to the Berserker."
dragonfire_2pbonus="Explosive Manoeuvres always triggers on hit, and Destructive Manoeuvres deal 200% increased damage."
dragonfire_3pbonus="Explosive Manoeuvres and Destructive Manoeuvres adds Rampage to the Berserker when triggered. Rampage stacks up to 20 times and increases the damage of Explosive Manoeuvres by 10% per stack for 5 seconds."
dragonfire_4pbonus="Rampage adds 40% Damage Reduction while active."
northernrage_2pbonus="+300% Rage Generation."
northernrage_3pbonus="Frost skills also apply Frostbound to foes, storing the damage dealt to the foe, and adds it to the next hit of Rage Release, multiplied by the damage percentage of Rage Release. Effect lasts for 5 seconds and stacks infinitely."
northernrage_4pbonus="Rage Release now grants the Berserker 40% Damage Reduction for 5 seconds when triggered."
frostwyrm_name="Gust of the Frost Wyrms"
frostwyrm_2pbonus="Frost Winds has 100% chance to trigger, and Frostbite stacks infinitely."
frostwyrm_3pbonus="Frost Winds now always triggers twisters 3 at a time, and the maximum amount of active twisters is increased by 5."
frostwyrm_4pbonus="Frost Winds adds 40% Damage Reduction to the Berserker when triggered. Effect lasts 5 seconds."
bloodbinder_name="Blood Binder's Raiment"
--- Warlock gear ---
bloodbinder_2pbonus="If there are no Clots alive and 3 or more Living Blood, they will merge into a large Clot, adding up their stats. When the Clot dies, it deals 500% of its damage as Poison damage in a 3 meter radius. Lasts 10 seconds."
bloodbinder_3pbonus="Clots will absorb nearby Living Bloods, adding their Health and Damage to itself. Clots and Living Blood will apply an infintely stacking poison debuff on foes hurt by their attacks and their death explosion, dealing the damage of the attack each second, for 5 seconds."
bloodbinder_4pbonus="The Warlock gains 5% Damage Reduction each time a Living Blood or Clot is formed, stacking up to 40%. Effect lasts 7 seconds."
plaguemage_name="Plague Mage Raiment"
plaguemage_2pbonus="Infection stacks infinitely."
plaguemage_3pbonus="Contagion has 100% chance to trigger."
plaguemage_4pbonus="The Warlock gains a Shield for 50% of his Maximum Health when Contagion triggers, however the Shield will weaken the Warlock if destroyed, preventing it from being re-applied for 5 seconds."
coldhearted_2pbonus="Spirit of Torment now deals its damage a 2 meter radius around itself."
coldhearted_3pbonus="Spirit of Torment will now merge with other nearby Spirits, adding their damage up and refreshing their duration."
coldhearted_4pbonus="Frozen Veil shields for an additional 3% of the Warlock's Maximum Health per stack, and the cooldown is removed."
deathbringers_2pbonus="Every time a foe is affected by Cold Death, the damage of Cold Death on that foe is increased by 10%. Stacks infinitely."
deathbringers_3pbonus="Corpse Shatter is twice as likely to trigger and will spread any Cold Death bonus damage stacks to all foes hit."
deathbringers_4pbonus="Each trigger of Bone Chill adds 10% Damage Reduction to the Warlock, stacking up to 40% and lasting 7 seconds."
demonlord_name="Demon Lord's Regalia"
demonlord_2pbonus="Summons a permanent Infernal Demon. Casting Hell Pit now also teleports the Infernal Demon to the location of the Hell Pit. The Infernal Demon will taunt nearby foes after teleporting. Can only teleport once every 3 seconds."
demonlord_3pbonus="When the Warlock lands a hit with a fire spell the Infernal Demon becomes Empowered, increasing its damage stat by the damage dealt by the Warlock. This effect is multiplied by the current amount of souls held by the Warlock, and lasts for 10 seconds and can be refreshed. However, the Infernal Demon can no longer crit."
demonlord_4pbonus="50% of the damage taken by the Warlock is redirected to the Infernal Demon."
burninghell_name="Regalia of Burning Hells"
burninghell_2pbonus="Flaming Hells stacks infinitely."
burninghell_3pbonus="Demonic Fury is also cast on all companions. If the Warlock has no companion skills, Flaming Hells is instead applied 5 stacks at a time."
burninghell_4pbonus="The Warlock and their companions gain 40% Damage Reduction for 6 seconds after triggering Demonic Fury."
desecrators_2pbonus="Desecration also spawns a Skull, which will store damage from all nearby Desecration triggers. After 1.5 seconds, the Skull deals 300% of the total damage absorbed to all foes within 5 meters."
desecrators_3pbonus="Foes struck by Desecration receive 50% increased damage from Desecration and the Skull. This effect stacks infinitely. In addition, Desecration slows foes hit by 50% for 2 seconds."
desecrators_4pbonus="The Warlock is healed for 1% Health each time Desecration strikes a foe. Overhealing from any source is turned into a Shield, absorbing up to 30% of the Warlock's Maximum Health."
masochists_2pbonus="Death Knight (Ultimate) lasts until death. Masochism has one stack added per second and stacks 10 more times. All Bone skills also deal 25% of Thorns damage on hit."
masochists_3pbonus="Bane skills weaken enemies on hit, increasing the damage they take from Bane skills by 30%. This effect stacks infinitely. Bone Splinters also stack infinitely. In addition, Masochism adds 30% increased Thorns per stack."
masochists_4pbonus="Each stack of Masochism reduces the damage taken by the Warlock by 5%, up to 40%."
--- Warden gear ---
highranger_name="High Ranger's Gear"
highranger_2pbonus="Overdraw and Double Draw have a 100% chance to trigger. Razor tips deal 100% increased damage."
highranger_3pbonus="Razor Tips bleed stack infinitely, and Double Draw deals an additional 100% of the triggering skill's damage."
highranger_4pbonus="The Warden gains 40% Damage Reduction."
windcaller_2pbonus="All Physical skills spawn small Whirlwinds on the foe on hit. The Whirlwinds deal equal damage to the skill that triggered them, per second, and lasts 3 seconds. 2 meter damage radius. If Whirlwinds collide they will merge, refreshing their duration and combining their damage. When a Whirlwind is about to expire it will automatically seek out other Whirlwinds to merge with."
windcaller_3pbonus="Whirlwinds now last 7 seconds and are twice as strong. Windwalker now lasts until death, and will cast Gale rank 5 every 5 seconds. "
windcaller_4pbonus="The Warden gains 40% Damage Reduction."
shroomtender_name="Shroom Tender's Garb"
shroomtender_2pbonus="Spores always trigger on cast, and all mushrooms spawned from Spores are twice as strong."
shroomtender_3pbonus="Mushrooms now grow from each foe hit by the Spores. Mushrooms now also weaken nearby foes when popping, causing them to take 10% increased damage from all mushrooms. This effect stacks infinitely. Mushrooms empowered by Sporelings adds three additional stacks per empowerment."
shroomtender_4pbonus="The Warden gains 40% Damage Reduction."
everspring_2pbonus="Pods stack infinitely, and Bloom is twice as likely to trigger"
everspring_3pbonus="Pods have an increased 20% chance to burst, and when bursting they spawn small twisters, dealing the same amount of damage per second, for 3 seconds. In addition, all poison skills always apply 3 stacks of Pods per hit."
everspring_4pbonus="The Warden gains 40% Damage Reduction."
stormcaller_2pbonus="Lightning Rod applies a burn to foes struck, dealing the same amount of damage per second, for 5 seconds. This burn stacks."
stormcaller_3pbonus="When Static gains a charge, it considers the total remaining Lightning Rod burn damage on the foe as part of the triggering skill. Lightning Rod and Static also gain an additional 40% chance to trigger."
stormcaller_4pbonus="The Warden gains 40% Damage Reduction."
wispmother_name="Armor of The Wispmother"
wispmother_2pbonus="Lightning skills apply Wisp Spark to foes, increasing the damage they take from Wisps by 5% of the damage percentage of the used skill, and makes the Wisps target the foe. Wisp Spark both lasts and stacks infinitely."
wispmother_3pbonus="Spawns an additional 3 Wisps, and the Wisp's Chain Lightning attack is replaced with Thunder Orb, dealing increased damage to a concentrated location."
wispmother_4pbonus="The Warden gains 40% Damage Reduction."
torrent_2pbonus="Pummel stacks infinitely and adds an additional 15% damage increase per stack, and Pelted strikes twice as fast."
torrent_3pbonus="Pelted lasts forever, and Torrent always triggers and additionally restores 1% mana."
torrent_4pbonus="The Warden gains 40% Damage Reduction."
snowstorm_2pbonus="Foes affected by Winter's Chill take 15% increased damage from Snow Blast. This effect stacks infinitely."
snowstorm_3pbonus="When triggered, Snow Blast now also summons a Snow Ball which will hover above the target foe, building up damage based on the Snow Blast triggers. After 3 seconds, a pause in Snow Blast procs, or if the foe dies, the Snow Ball strikes the ground dealing 120% of the stored up damage to all foes within 7 meters."
snowstorm_4pbonus="The Warden gains 40% damage reduction."
--- event? ---
xmas_name="'Tis The Season"
xmas_2pbonus="Let it snow!"
1.4: The Mystery Challenge
[TWO]: As much as I really want to win, I am happy with my consistency.
[He laughs out loud, letting some of his nervousness show.]
[SUEN]: Solidly Top 3 so far! Unlike me. Heh.
[TWO]: Well...you actually won though. Here’s hoping winning is based on overall performance.
[He gives Suen an over-enthusiastic thumbs up.]
[BEE]: I think the cycle winner’s track record will get taken into account, but I also think winning a challenge really helps.[Two snorts.]
[TWO]: Fair enough. Anyway, when do we get our new prompt? Didn’t Confessa say Suen would get the first picking?**\*
[CONFESSA’S VOICE] (booms): It’s time to announce the Mystery Challenge! The Suen, since you won last week, you will have first choice. Based on last week’s results, the order of choosing will be as follows: The Suen, of course, followed by Two, Claudette, Bee, Dan, Simone.
Unfortunately for you, Grean, you will be last, which means you won’t get a choice and will end up with whatever nobody wants.
A Mystery Challenge is one in which the contestants are presented with a unique exercise to challenge their writing rather than to write for a genre. If you were the Winner of The Creature Feature Challenge, then you were given an advanced preview as well as first pickings of the categories for this challenge prompt. The rest of the competitors’ choosing order was determined by how they performed in the Creature Feature challenge.
Each Group below has different concepts, ideas, and tropes often found in the horror genre. Write a short story that includes all three (3) keywords you chose from the list below (one from each group). Alternatively, you can write three separate stories (one for each keyword), though the combined word count of the stories may not exceed the maximum. Your story can be any genre, but it must be one that is horror**.**
It is up to you to determine how you interpret your keywords' meanings and include them in your story. Put the three keywords you chose beneath your word count.
Word count maximum: 3000
Under your title and word count, include the three keywords you chose.
- Dark Humor
- Found Footage
- An Isolated/Abandoned Place
- Summer Camp
- A Church/Temple
- An Alternate Reality
- An Artifact of Doom
- A Creepy/Evil Child
- A Vengeful spirit
- Prophetic visions
- A boogeyman
- A Deadly/survival game
- A Slumber party
- A random stranger
- A gypsy's curse
(The critiques presented here have been edited down from their originals.)
Choosing Order: 4th
Keywords: Possession, A Church/Temple, and a Deadly/Survival Game
I think of all the stories you have submitted, this one was my favorite. You do a great job of setting up your cult’s religion and providing plenty of mystery along the way. In terms of your set up, I really appreciate learning more and more about the cult and about Iren as I read more. The information is dispersed around your story, it doesn’t feel stuffy or rushed, and most importantly, it stays engaging from start to finish.
You seemed to have had a lot of fun playing around with your keywords*,* and ultimately your story. Not only that, but your story has an ending that pays off. I had worried at the beginning that this story would play a similar style of most cult stories already out there, and truthfully, while it does maintain similar elements to them, the plot manages to subvert a lot of expectations at its core, especially with your ending. I enjoyed that you played a game of “Who’s the Villain?” as most characters seem capable of committing monstrous deeds, and I was really surprised by Leah in the end.
With this story, you really were on the right track. Just don’t be afraid to take it to a grittier, darker place or take a risk You never know, it could pay off very well for you.
Choosing Order: 3rd
Keywords: Revenge, An Artifact of Doom, and A Random Stranger
Your story was really fun to read. My first impression of it has a likeable and personable character, someone who struggles taking risks and exploring outside his comfort until he stumbles upon a magical goat figurine which empowers him to take chances. I appreciate these core themes that you included--about life not always being so easy to navigate where sometimes you just need to make drastic changes or take risks to continue on.
Your title is included as part of your character’s mantra, a pretty common saying that people tell those who just broke up with their partner. It is a tad trite, but I really like how you ventured into an almost literal interpretation of the saying. Now, I don’t know what jumping off bridges has anything to do with living well per se, but I didn’t really mind that as the reader. The mantra does feel quite repetitive, as it is written quite a lot, and got to the point where the mantra flatlined and lost meaning, until he literally lost his figurine and his ”life well lived mantra” came to a sudden crash.
I’m also not really seeing this story as horror, sorry to say. This is more “horror-adjacent”, and gives me “Very Bad Things” vibes, but without the schtick. What I would have liked to see is more unsettling consequences of his actions while he’s holding onto the figurine. There could have been a more obsessive quality to the story, maybe a darker revenge, or even having a gothic atmosphere would have sufficed. Because he did die right after losing his artifact of doom, you get a soft pass this week, but it was a very close call for you to get a Danger placement. Be more cognizant of your horror, so you are not just settling for “horror lite”.
Choosing Order: 5th
Keywords: Dark Humor, A Gypsy's Curse, and Nightmares
You should be so proud. Overall, and unlike your Slasher piece, your story flows well and keeps the reader engaged--and not distracted by the technical issues. Your narrator is believable and personable, and someone who I happen to know. Or, at least, I feel like I know him. Which in the end reflects a lot on you as the writer. This is a sign of a good writer--creating believable characters dealing with everyday stuff. And your showing has vastly improved from last week as well!
However, there are still some inappropriate use of grammatical markers, specifically, semicolons albeit with A HUGE improvement in your sentence structure and grammar.
Even though this story is leaps and bounds ahead of the past ones you have submitted so far, unfortunately you did not include dark humor into your submission, and for that, I have to place you in Danger. If there were some elements of dark humor in your submission, you would easily be Safe or in the Top with this piece.
Choosing Order: 7th
Keywords: Cronenberg, An Isolated/Abandoned Place, and Prophetic Visions
Ordinarily, I am more critical upon stories that use already existing characters and settings like this one. Along the same line as when Mag wrote his submission based on a beloved franchise with his Toy Story slasher, the characters from Garfield don’t really portray their personalities in your story and had you just changed their names, I would never have known it was a horror fanfiction.
But what separates this story from Mag’s is how satisfying of a read it is. The stable yet fluid sentence structure of most of your piece, your vivid details, and the way your story ends just right is what really makes your story shine, When you first started MurderHaus, your overreliance on making characters express their shock, panic, or fear, and a lot of where you could unpack your sentences to show with details is what has held you back from nabbing a Win or landing you in the top. So, I’m happy to see that you’ve found what really works for you.
Because you had no choice whatsoever and ended up with whatever the others didn’t want, I am especially impressed by how you delivered all three keywords into this story by not making the nightmares seem overdrawn, long winded, or stale. You’re in and you’re out in an appropriate time frame (considering the word limit), your description is fantastic, and (please pay attention to what I’m about to say) the paragraph structure is not too dense, which makes reading it enjoyable and fun (and also nauseating). Your body horror paired with the nightmares feels very much like something David Cronenberg or John Carpenter would do, so for all these reasons, your story puts you in the Top this week.
SIMONE LE ROUX
Choosing Order: 6th
Keywords: Found Footage, Summer Camp, and a Boogeyman
One of my favorite touches in your story is Zombie Night. Playing around with makeup and gore effects, watching some B-Horror zombie flicks, and eating green popcorn all in one night? Wow, these campers sure know how to have a great time! Sign me up for this camp!
I really do need to take a few moments to gripe, however. The backstory info dump that occurs right afterwards when Erik sees the box of video tapes really cuts into the flow of your beginning, and unfortunately, sets the tone for the rest of your story. When he finally gets around to opening the box, it was difficult to keep myself from disconnecting altogether. It really is much too long. If it is necessary for your story to set all of this information up then at least do not break up your action scenes like this, as it puts the story on a major pause while you explain things the reader did not ask for. What it boils down to is it's more telling, rather than showing. Cut or find a way to revise and shorten the info dump and maintain the continuity of the scene you set up.
Speaking of which, part of what also really set a dry tone was the repetitive use of “telling”
words with each videotape introduction. Camera turns on. View pans to… The lighting is… The camera turns off. It creates an uninteresting flow for the reader, and makes this piece difficult to keep reading. Finding creative ways to show the reader what the videotapes have captured is of utmost importance when relying on your current structure, all of which is not always necessary as when “The camera turns on.” It is already well-implied that the camera is turned on and filming, so the reader doesn’t need the constant reminder every time it switches to a new videotape.
As far as why the change in perspectives are so frequent, this kind of device is very difficult to pull off. It must not only be seamless, but it shouldn’t leave the reader confused or left behind. My suggestion would be to limit the focus on who is filming, and expand on what is being filmed, especially where Erik is concerned. Having to learn the identity of somebody brand new for each videotape was a little exhausting as well as confusing.
Choosing Order: 1st
Keywords: Paranoia, A Creepy/Evil Child, and A Slumber Party
This blog-style story was an absolute risk. It could have gone one of two ways: messy and long-winded, or well-paced, believable, and easy-to-follow. I’m really glad to see it was the latter. Your setup is fantastic and the drawings are really great, personal touches. The style here also adds a touch of uncomfortable madness, mostly by drawing upon images of an overachieving and protective mother pushing the boundaries of what’s really allowed or not.
One of my most favorite details in this piece is that food blogger’s life story of every recipe they post. It really comes across as highly accurate as well as engaging. Not only that but she has to be one of those types, insisting on the highest, freshest quality of the most expensive whatchacallit. No, frozen won't do, it just doesn't taste the same as fresh-caught lobster. Pfft. Fucking Karen. I also really love that you added Comments, though I am super curious as to what they would say that weren’t already included in your food blog.
I think with this one, you walk a very fine line of what is meant to be horror. While I appreciate the darkly humorous undertone, this is your second story in a row that you've relied on dark humor. While you write dark humor very well, I want to push you from here on out to avoid falling back on this subgenre for a while.
Choosing Order: 2nd
Keywords: Cult, An Alternate Reality, and A Vengeful Spirit
Something I want to challenge you to do is to make mindful edits. In some places of your story, the pacing seems off and parts of the story are shallow. I understand that this is a shortened, more condensed version of something else...and it shows. There were just parts I wish had been more expanded, while limiting other parts, such as when you switch perspectives. In comparison to the others, Janet is your most interesting character and that may be because she seems more conceptualized--what her goals and motives are, her personality, her authority, her abilities, and why she is important. Your other characters seem to take a backseat to Janet. Janet really overshadows every other character in this story. While Janet is obviously the star, and most important character, whenever she isn’t around, the story feels like it’s moving at a snail’s pace, or it doesn’t always feel as developed.
When your vengeful spirit appears, the scene reads very surface-level, roped in, and rushed. Being under a word count constraint can be challenging when it comes to writing short stories, so it needs to get to the climax and resolution much faster than a novel. Your story here has this very same pacing issue, and I definitely think it’s because the ideas presented here are just too big for a standard short story. Moving forward, no more cutting corners if you can help it. You will have far better results if you come into the following weeks with something newly written, and not something that seems to have been chopped up.
That said, your beginning and ending are far more satisfying and indulgent than anywhere in the middle. What I really like the most about some of your ideas is environmental terrorism being taken to a new place, and is something not usually found in horror. The fact that the cult is also matriarchal is also not usually found in horror--women are often subject to being victims or subservient members of cults in these types of movies, so this subversion was a great choice which comes off as much more fresh than most. I like seeing powerful and affluent cocky men quake in their boots as they recognize the power of Woman and having the bar levelled in the war of the sexes.
What doesn’t seem to work or just seems superfluous to the plot at large is the beginning of “Chapter 3,” Steven is meant to be the focus of Janet’s wrath, but as I said earlier in this critique, Janet is the most developed and interesting character, so whenever she isn’t around, the other characters fall a bit more flat, or just not always easy to read. I would really consider a story like this to have a more limited third-person POV, or if you want to keep shifting perspectives, the characters need to be as well-rounded and fleshed out as Janet, with differing perspectives and thought-processes and personality quirks unique to them in order to have a less flat narrative.
One of my greatest pet peeves in writing is when you can tell the author is being lazy and just trying to push through a part just so they can fill up the word count or for some other reason. An example is here:
“The palace was beautiful beyond description, and without end.”
This is an obvious cop out. Nothing in your story should something ever be “beyond description.” This really kills a mood and reflects poorly on the writer. In fact, just simply mentioning that it can’t be described makes it seem like you just plopped it in without much forethought, even if the opposite were true. Describe your character’s best ability to understand what they are seeing and trust that the reader understands that the Palace is otherworldly and neverending in its magnificent splendor and beauty.
There are a few other things present in your submission here that don't seem to jive right with this story, but those other things are getting more into the nitty-gritty and their current inclusion doesn’t cheapen the impact of your story any more than some of the other problem areas present.
[CONFESSA]: Based on this week’s critiques, I have made some decisions.…
As a reminder, The Suen, today you have immunity. Should you fall in the Danger placement today, you will instead be marked up to Low\*.
Your piece was neither here nor there, and while I appreciate how easy to read your story is, your submission was too repetitive.
This week, you are LOW. You will not be placed for elimination today, but consider this a warning to step up your game from here on out.(Claudette sighs and nods nervously.)
[CLAUDETTE]: Horror is a tough genre for me, but I agree about both the repetitiveness and definitely about the horror. I’m just glad to be trying it out.…
Simone le Roux…
While one of you managed to write a solid story, you ended up leaving out one of your keywords for this challenge. The submissions of the other two fell flat and the flaws were too obvious.
All three of you are in DANGER and up for elimination.
All of your stories broke through the crowd and stood out as the best this week. The three of you are all in the TOP!
I will say, the Top 3 this week really brought it and gave it their all. Deciding the Winner of this week will be exceptionally difficult.
The Suen, Congratulations! You are the Winner of this week’s prompt! I’ll allow you some time to deliberate on who among your competitors you think deserves the hatchet.…
[The Suen heads over to The Dark Altar. He picks up the red pen and scribbles a name on a piece of parchment before sealing it in an envelope and stamping it closed with a red wax seal of the MurderHaus sigil.]
[CONFESSA]: Thank you, Suen.
[She tears open the envelope and reads the parchment.]
[CONFESSA]: The next person to be cut from Cycle 1 of MurderHaus is…
I’m sorry, this is where your story ends in Cycle 1. However, you show a lot of promise, so I want to give you another shot. I am officially extending you an open invitation to join Cycle 2. Stay in touch, and thank you for your participation.
[DAN]: Thank you, everyone. I really enjoyed my time here, and wish you all the best! Everyone here has such great talent.
[SUEN]: I’m sorry, Dan. Your story was one of my favorites this week.
[DAN]: It’s cool, mate. No hard feelings. [He waves to everyone.] I look forward to seeing what everyone writes for the rest of the competition.
[SIMONE]: Good luck, Dan! I can’t wait to see what you write for Cycle 2![CONFESSA]: Dan, thank you. But for now… You have been cut.
The Suen, you are certainly pulling out all the stops on this competition so far. Keep up the great work!…
[CONFESSA]: I have one more announcement.Cycle 1 Progress Sheet
Take a look around at your fellow competitors. Next week, you are all going head-to-head in a smackdown-style challenge prompt: Aliens versus Zombies. The Suen, since you are the Winner of the Mystery Challenge prompt, you get the choice to be on your team of choice...and who you want to go head-to-head with. Pick carefully…
Next Up: 1.5 Aliens vs. Zombies